Broken but not Shattered
by breezie531
Summary: Sometimes there are things we never deal with because we're afraid they will shatter us. Will Jane be able to hold Maura together long enough to be able to help her put the pieces back together. Warning inside.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here's the warning first guys. This story will contain mentions of child abuse and may be a trigger for some. So if this may bother you, feel free to turn back now.**

**A/N 2: Hey guys sorry about not updating my other stories lately. I broke a key on my laptop and it's a little hard to type atm. I've got it fixed kinda half ass for now until I can find someone who knows what they're doing and can help me REALLY fix it. This is gonna probably be a two shot but I don't know. This piece is hard to write for me because it hits really really close to home but I'm hoping by writing it i'll be able to kind of work through things. Thanks for all of your support and patience! I love you all for continuing to read what I post.**

Jane Rizzoli had known Maura Isles for a number of years. In that number of years, she had never known Maura Isles to make a single mistake, not even a typo. So when Maura had managed accidentally sliced her own hand open with a scalpel Jane knew something must be up.

It was late October, Jane had walked into the morgue to get ask Maura if she wanted to grab a beer and some take out with her since their latest case had closed and they were both off for the weekend. When she had arrived she heard a faint humming and saw Maura staring at the latest body on her table unseeing, a surgical scalpel shaking in her hand. Jane stood stock still, she knew if she were to startle Maura there was a more likely chance of her injuring herself or damaging any potential evidence the body may contain.

The humming got slightly louder and someone started singing. Jane realized the lab tech packing up his things a few feet from Maura was singing, "you are my sunshine". Jane continued to watch as Maura's shaking got worse and contemplated whether she should actually step in. She ran as she watched Maura slice open the back of her own hand without even a flinch as her hand shook violently.

Jane was almost immediately at Maura's side inspecting her injured hand and taking the scalpel carefully from her other. Maura was temporarily startled but relaxed slightly when she realized it was Jane.

Close up the detective could clearly see the doctors tear stained face. . On closer inspection, Jane could see dark circles under the doctor's eyes expertly hidden by make up that was now running.

Jane turned Maura slowly around being careful of her injured hand. She placed the scalpel back on the tray, carefully took the glove off of Maura's left hand and examined the fresh wound. Maura leaned heavily against Jane.

"not deep." Maura said, her voice no more than a whisper. "simple bandage, some… top draw..desk."

Jane held on to Maura tightly as she walked Maura to her desk and sat her down gently, retrieving the necessary supplies to clean and dress Maura's wound. Jane was tempted to ask Maura why this had happened but knew the doctor well enough to know that Maura would need a little time. If she wanted to open up she would.

Maura sniffled as she tried to recompose herself. Jane finished dressing Maura's hand when she stopped to look the doctor in the eye for the first time since she got to the morgue.

"Hey."

Maura sniffled.

"Stay with me tonight?" Jane spoke.

It was in the form of a question but it was clear Jane was not about to take no for an answer.

Maura nodded, she still did not seem quite ready for more conversation. Jane helped Maura out of her chair, wrapping the doctor's coat securely around her shoulders, grabbing her purse, and walking her to the car. Jane opened the car door and eased Maura into the car as if she were made of glass. Jane had seen Maura pretty shaken up in the past but never anything like this. The doctor sat in her seat quietly playing with the hem of her skirt with her uninjured hand. She just stared at her the floor not even attempting to look at her best friend.

Jane was so past worried she might have hit Japan but she knew not to push Maura. As hard as it was not to just take Maura in her arms, hold her and demand to know what happened she knew that getting Maura somewhere more private and comfortable was the first step to getting the doctor to open up.

The drive to Jane's apartment was relatively quiet. Occasionally Maura would mutter something almost too quietly for Jane to hear. She caught bits and pieces like _"supposed …mother… could she… so stupid.. can't …never…safe…" _When Jane pulled in front of her building and parked the car Maura barely seemed to notice, she was still lost in thought. Jane exited the car and opened Maura's door to gently help the doctor out of the car and lead her up the stairs.

A few minutes later Jane had maneuvered Maura up the stairs, into the apartment and onto the couch. Jane crouched down next to her friend and tapped her on the shoulder. Maura turned to look in Jane's direction, still unable to meet her eyes Maura's gaze seemed to land somewhere around Jane's bend knees.

Jane's hand moved to place a comforting hand on the ME's arm.

"I'm just gonna take Jo for a quick walk okay? When I get back you can tell me if you'd like to eat or try to get some rest… or ya know talk about anything okay?" 

Maura nodded weakly. She barely seemed to register anything. The usually observant and alert doctor was as far from her usual self as Jane had ever seen. She was could feel her anxiety growing by the minute. Jo's walk was probably much too short for the terrier mix's liking but Jane was much too worried about her best friend to leave her alone for any length of time.

As Jane reentered her apartment, she closed the door quietly behind her. Maura was now on one end of the couch her arms wrapped tightly around her knees, a fresh batch of tears streaming down her face. Jane touched Maura's shoulder lightly attempting to catch the doctor's attention. Maura jumped shrieking and almost falling off the couch. When she saw it was Jane Maura calmed slightly, Jane took her hand sat next to her taking the smaller woman into her arms. Maura was shaking; her whole body shook in Jane's arms like a small child who'd just witnessed a horrific accident.

Jane attempted to calm her best friend down. Her arms tightly wrapped around Maura, she whispered in her ear and gently kissed the crown of her hair.

"It's gonna be okay. I don't know what has you so upset but whatever it is I'm here and we're in this together okay?" She waited for a response.

A small sniffle was the only response Jane seemed to get.

She tried again. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Maura shook her head almost violently against Jane.

"Shhh shh it's okay. We don't have to talk now we can talk whenever you're ready. Would you like to lie down? This couch is not the most comfortable thing and you look like you could use some rest."

Maura nodded slightly.

Jane stood up, she picked Maura up bodily, one arm under the doctors knees the other supporting the doctors back. Maura rested her head comfortably in Jane's neck and held onto her as if Jane was her lifeline with her one good hand. Jane deposited the shaken doctor on the bed as she got her something more comfortable to sleep in. Jane set the clothes down on the bed next to her as she searched for something to wear herself. Maura sat stone still, her hands in her lap eyes glued to the floor. By the time Jane had dressed Maura had yet to move. She crouched down in front of the quiet woman.

"Maura, is it okay if I help you get changed? I'm pretty sure you don't want to sleep in what you are wearing."

Maura nodded weakly.

Jane helped Maura undress slowly, making sure to keep the doctors modesty intact. Jane finished dressing Maura and getting the doctor settled in before she climbed in the other side. Maura opened her mouth as if to say something. Jane watched as a myriad of emotions crossed the doctor's face.

"It's okay Maura ask or say whatever it is… seriously… please?"

Her voice barely above a whisper cracked.

"h-hold me?...please?"

"Of course."

Jane scooted closer to Maura it broke her heart to see her friend so vulnerable and broken; she wrapped her arms around Maura in an attempt from letting the woman she loved shatter completely.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Okay so i'm back. I fixed chapter one because there was a butt load of mistakes and it irked me. I'm pretty sure this will have at least 1 possibly 2 more chapters. I'm sorry it took forever to get this chapter up. As I stated I just got laptop access back recently and this story is hard to write anyway. It hits close to home but I feel like it also needs to be written. I started this before we learned anything about Maura's Bio parents so yea on that note I guess it's AU. I don't know when I'll get the next chapter of this up. I know what I want to happen I just need to get it on paper. I hope to get the next chapter of Dear Maura up next. I have a full chapter outlined and now I just need to write it out. It may be the last chapter, we'll see how that one plays out. But yea enjoy! As always reviews are appreciated. And i'd like to thank you all who have stuck with me through my long absence, and many grammatical errors. **

Maura had always held Jane through her Hoyt induced nightmares, but Jane hadn't realized exactly how heartbreaking it could be until their roles were reversed. Maura hadn't been asleep more than an hour before the nightmare induced screaming and thrashing began.

Jane had just began nodding off. She had been stroking the doctors hair attempting to keep her calm. When suddenly she felt her friends whole body tense, only moments before the screaming began. Maura was thrashing and shouting at the top of her lungs. A sheen of sweat now covering her skin. Jane tried to gently wake her friend, barely missing Maura's flailing arms. Her hands balled into tight fists, her legs thrashing throwing the covers onto the floor Jane wasn't sure if she'd ever seen someone with nightmares this severe. Jane wrapped grasped at Maura's shoulder trying to shake her awake, there was no way she would have been heard over the already deafening screams. Maura woke up with a start, propelling herself into a sitting position. Tears were streaming down her face, and the bandage on her hand was now deep red and partially saturated with blood.

Jane's eyes went wide, she tried to pull Maura into a tight hug wanting to calm her down enough so she could examine the injury better.

"Maura, Maura, Shh sweetie, it's me Jane. You're in my apartment, you're fine. Shh it's going to be okay. It's okay Maura you're okay. No one is going to hurt you I'm right here." Jane rubbed circles on Maura's back.

Maura's head was buried in Jane's neck and she sobbed freely. She felt so ashamed. It was not supposed to be like this and she was not supposed to put Jane through this. After Maura's sobbing had calmed to a slower steady stream of tears and she was at least able to breathe normally again Jane pulled back slightly.

She pulled Maura's injured hand between them, the gauze was now completely saturated. Jane felt her heart break, Maura's face didn't seem to even register the pain in her hand.

"Come on Maura I've got to rebandage this. I don't know, it might require stitches or something."

Jane hopped out of bed and walked around to Maura's side. The other woman had not even attempted to move. She just sat stock still silently crying. Jane pulled at her body getting her into a standing position before pulling her into another hug that registered somewhere between bone crushing and comforting. It took Maura a few moments before she even attempted to lift her arms to return the hug. Over Maura's shoulder Jane saw the cause of the fresh blood streaming from Maura's hand, the corner of the nightstand had a piece of bandage and "A reddish brown stain". Jane sighed. Maura must have hit her hand pretty hard while she was fighting her invisible demons.

Jane slowly released Maura and let her to the bathroom sitting her down on the closed toilet and searching her medicine cabinet for any bandages and antiseptic.

"I'm sorry Jane, I don't mean to be such a burden." Maura mumbled.

It was the first time she had spoken since she awoke. There was no sign of malice in her voice, Jane dropped the bandages and the antiseptic. Her face registered her obvious disbelieve. She moved over to Maura crouching down so they were face level, Jane lifted Maura's chin so that Maura would finally look her in the eyes for the first time that night.

"I want you to listen to me right now Maura Elizabeth Isles, You are NOT and NEVER will be a burden. You are my best friend…" Jane paused swallowing the lump in her throat. Now wasn't the time to say this but it could be taken a number of ways.

"And I love you. I will always be here for you. Well not right here because you won't always need me in my bathroom but I will always be wherever you need me whenever you need me. I don't care what else I am doing or what else may be going on. I may not know exactly what's going on with you right now, but I am going to help you however I can. If or when you want to talk to me I'll be here. But right now, we need to get something else on that hand."

Jane started unwrapping the injured hand slowly.

"You did quite a number on this Maura. It's much worse than it was before."

The wound was now deeper toward the center and split much wider open then it had been previously.

"I'm no Doctor Maur, but I think you might need stitches or something for this."

Maura started shaking slightly, she pulled her knees up to her chest again, wrapping her good arm around them.

"No, please Jane. No people. Please…please" The tears were flowing faster down her face now, her voice cracking, she was honestly pleading.

Jane couldn't swallow the lump in her throat, how had Maura fallen apart so fast. How had she hidden all this brokenness and pain for so long? Jane pushed back Maura's bangs.

"Shhh, it's okay. We won't leave, no doctors, no other people. Just you and me okay? Just you and me. We'll see how you feel in the morning. Okay."

Maura nodded.

Jane let out a sigh. Jane opened the trash throwing away the ruined bandage and reached for the new supplies, cleaning the wound thoroughly and then rewrapping it securely. She kissed the fresh bandage before letting go. She stood up, quickly putting her supplies back in their proper place.

She looked at Maura.

"Are you hungry?"

Maura shook her head, her eyes glued to the floor. Her face buried in her knees.

"Would you like to go back and lie down?"

Maura nodded slightly.

Jane took Maura's good hand and led Maura back to the bed slowly. She sat Maura down while she fixed the covers on the bed, which at the moment were on the floor. Guilt flashed across the doctor's face. Jane just smiled, gently at her.

"It's okay Maur. No big deal. It's just some covers. You didn't do any permanent damage relax."

Maura scooted back toward the pillows, pulling her knees up to her chest again. Jane finished the covers before climbing in next to the doctor. She sat with her back against the pillows, she held out her arm inviting Maura over. The doctor immediately scooted toward her, laying her head on Jane's chest and holding her tightly.

Jane could feel the doctor's tears soaking through her thin t-shirt, Maura's tears had slowed but hadn't completely stopped since she woke up. Jane rubbed her arms as she tried to think of anything she could do to help her friend.

"Jane?"

It was barely a whisper. If the entire apartment hadn't been completely silent she would have missed it.

"Yes Maur?"

The doctor took a deep breath.

"Did you know I wasn't adopted by my parents until I was 8?"

**TBC...**


End file.
